13 things that I didn't know before being a Mother

13. That I'd be just as happy with a boy as I would be with a girl. ( I always wanted a little girl )

12. That being peed on isn't as gross as it sounds...as long as it's a baby that pees on you (haha)

11. That when you see those storys on the news about children being abducted, sexually molested, abused etc. that it would affect me so much more deeply and would make me want to curb stomp a mother fucker

10. Mothers instincs, it's not a bunch of bullshit that Moms talk about to make themselves seem like super heros (lol)

9. That it would hurt so bad when I have to hold my son down to get his shots. It makes me feel like a sort of kiddie executioner, and a horrible person.

8. I didn't expect to feel such a strong attachment to my son when he was first born, but from the minute I laid eyes on him and they laid him on my belly I haven't been the same. That's the moment in time when it really hit me, like a mac truck I might add, that this little person is, was and always will be the core of my universe.

7. Before I was pregnant with Aiden I thought breast feeding was gross, I famously said "I ain't walking around with no body attached to my titty, eww" as soon as I got pregnant and did my research though, I knew I would BF my son. It's not gross, it's beautiful, emotionally fulfilling, and the best bonding experience I could have had with my newborn son.

6. That I wouldn't mind getting up every 2 hours to feed him. No matter how sleep deprived I was, it was never "a burden" it was something that I actually enjoyed.

5. I never thought that I would actually go shopping, but 200 dollars worth of kid stuff, and a box of tampons and deoderant for myself.

4. That being selfless can actually be fulfilling, as long as you don't lose yourself completely.

3. That having a baby would actually strenghten the bond that I feel with my husband and bring us closer together. Seeing him with Aiden, how great he is with him, the look in his eyes when Aiden is telling him a "story" or giggling makes me fall in love with him all over again.

2. I never thought that someone so tiny, so helpless, someone who can't talk could inspire me in a thousand new ways daily, and most importantly to be a better person and live a better life.

1. That love really is unconditionl.

Wordless Wednesday

Six things I love about my husband

1. His voice.

2. How he holds my hand in public, and at the doctor and dentist when I'm scared.

3. The way he calls me baby instead of Ashlee, 99% of the time.

4. The fact that he can look at me and I can tell he loves me more than anything in the world.

5. The way he'll walk up behind me and say Hey Beautiful, and give me a hug.

6. Everything else that I can't list. I love everything about Justin!

When it rains..it pours

It's been a hell of a week here, money wise. Justin's paycheck was good. I didn't see any problems with the bills and all that, so I spent like 100 at TJ Maxx yesterday. What do I come home to? Messages from my brother, trying to scam me out of 45 dollars. Great, right? Apparently we borrowed money from them last week. Which we didn't, because 1. I didn't need any money and 2. he didn't have any money. They've been over here taking showers and all that because they were 3 months behind on their water bill. I gave them a box and a bag of food, because they were out and couldn't afford any. So how in the hell do I owe them money?! I seriously want to know this.



I'm so tired of shit...to be more clear, I'm so tired of peoples shit. I can not handle this right now on top of everything else that is going on. They wouldn't shut up, so I gave them the 45 damn dollars, so they would leave me alone. If I didn't there would've been big problems, because they would try to cause problems any way they could for me and my family. Not to mention they would probably tell my Dad that I owed them money (when I do not, I will say it again!) or some other bullshit, and that is just more shit that I don't need.



What the fuck is wrong with people? Cause it seems like everything and everyone is going crazy lately. I know one thing, I won't be helping my brother out anymore. I was in tears over the shit he pulled last night. I was so upset about it. It isn't the first time they have done some shit like this, but I won't go into the last time as it was 3 years (almost exactly) ago that it happened. I am so done with them this time, so done. I have come to realise that my relationship with my brother is a toxic one, well more so with his wife but since they're a package deal it's all the same in my eyes right now.



Is it wrong for me to say I hate people? Cause I really think I'm starting to.

You know what pisses me off the most?

About the whole Tasha/Brandon situation? That my son had gotten attached to her. He even says her name. He'll knock on her former bedroom door and yell Ashha Ta-ashha Ashha. This really makes me mad, because now I feel like they have hurt my son as well, because I can tell he misses her. I'd like to bitch slap the hell out of her for this. At least he's young I guess, but still. He'll never see her again, and I know it's for the best, but damn it...don't fuck with my child. I really feel like he got fucked over in all of this too, because she was really good with him and he would "flirt" with her and talk to her all the time, and she would hold him and stuff. Now he's like hey where's Ashha at. What a bitch. I know he's better off without that junkie trash in his life, but shit I feel bad about ever letting her stay now, because of how much Aiden liked her and how much he misses her. He looks for her around the house too.

The newest additions to the Browning Family

Coconut

Snowball

Them together at Sues house the night we got them

Coconut with Aiden




Aiden is already showing a preference for coconut, he loves her the most and plays with her the most. He likes Snowball too, but Coconut is his favorite for sure. They're so good with him, and he's doing surprisingly well with them too.

Wordless Wednesday